I'm loving post menopause life but it's so complicated for me as my treatment has turned my hair white. I wasn't prepared for it and it's not natural and I'm struggling to integrate a new image of me. But I really want to give fewer fucks! This stuff runs deep.
It absolute does run deep, and I think very few of us are immune from it all. I remember how horrified I was when I got my first few ‘age spots’ on my face. And I still hate the way my white hairs stick straight out from my parting like they’ve been electrified. It’s a work in progress, as are we. ❤️
It's about redefining our idea of beauty. One thing that helps me is hanging out on retreat with other women in all stages of the life cycle, seeing their beautiful nakedness and realising that if I think they are beautiful, they must see me that way too.
I’m really enjoying your writing! As someone who wasn’t conventionally pretty as a teenager I always felt I had to work on other aspects of myself to be liked. Looking back however I did have thin, white, femme privilege as a young woman. I have been endeavouring to resist all the cishet patriarchal bullshit since I was about 18 yet still it nags away… I’m too fat, should I dye my hair, shall I get a little ‘tweakment’. God I’m so over it. Agree that spending time with other like minded humans is very refreshing
It's a real journey Amity! I completely agree it's much better to accept these inevitable changes - much more graceful. There is a great view on the other side of the menopause mountain but as with the birth mountain, you can only see the other side after you've climbed the darned thing.
It’s a real paradox because we are told to grow old ‘gracefully’ but then ridiculed when we actually do. And it has to be the right kind of ageing to be accepted. Like, you still have to be thin and stylish and not too opinionated to be granted the ‘graceful’ status. Woe betide the woman who lets her grey hair frizz, or wears ugly but comfortable shoes or gets a bit fat. But also don’t try too hard, that’s desperate and gross. It actually infuriates me how rigged it is against women. I don’t judge women who DO worry about these things but I’m also sad that they are using so much of their precious time, energy and resources on fighting against a beautiful, natural part of life.
I'm loving post menopause life but it's so complicated for me as my treatment has turned my hair white. I wasn't prepared for it and it's not natural and I'm struggling to integrate a new image of me. But I really want to give fewer fucks! This stuff runs deep.
It absolute does run deep, and I think very few of us are immune from it all. I remember how horrified I was when I got my first few ‘age spots’ on my face. And I still hate the way my white hairs stick straight out from my parting like they’ve been electrified. It’s a work in progress, as are we. ❤️
It's about redefining our idea of beauty. One thing that helps me is hanging out on retreat with other women in all stages of the life cycle, seeing their beautiful nakedness and realising that if I think they are beautiful, they must see me that way too.
I’m really enjoying your writing! As someone who wasn’t conventionally pretty as a teenager I always felt I had to work on other aspects of myself to be liked. Looking back however I did have thin, white, femme privilege as a young woman. I have been endeavouring to resist all the cishet patriarchal bullshit since I was about 18 yet still it nags away… I’m too fat, should I dye my hair, shall I get a little ‘tweakment’. God I’m so over it. Agree that spending time with other like minded humans is very refreshing
It’s exhausting to comply with beauty standards, and it’s exhausting fighting against them. No wonder we are all so tired.
So true
It's a real journey Amity! I completely agree it's much better to accept these inevitable changes - much more graceful. There is a great view on the other side of the menopause mountain but as with the birth mountain, you can only see the other side after you've climbed the darned thing.
It’s a real paradox because we are told to grow old ‘gracefully’ but then ridiculed when we actually do. And it has to be the right kind of ageing to be accepted. Like, you still have to be thin and stylish and not too opinionated to be granted the ‘graceful’ status. Woe betide the woman who lets her grey hair frizz, or wears ugly but comfortable shoes or gets a bit fat. But also don’t try too hard, that’s desperate and gross. It actually infuriates me how rigged it is against women. I don’t judge women who DO worry about these things but I’m also sad that they are using so much of their precious time, energy and resources on fighting against a beautiful, natural part of life.